"So much to do, so little time!" If your life is speeding past and you can't catch up, and you feel overwhelmed by the many things that demand your attention, then it’s time to slow down and Take Time for Your Life. Author and personal coach Cheryl Richardson knows it's not easy to create the life of your dreams; it takes hard work, courage and a commitment to change. She also knows that instituting such a change takes a plan. In this conclusion of our interview with Cheryl Richardson, she shares her strategies on how to create an action plan for dynamic change.
How can we improve our financial lives?
You need to first recognize that unless you're a good steward for your money, it's going to be really hard to bring more money into your life. What I've learned over the last 18 years of dealing with people and their money is that abundance flows into our lives when we trust ourselves enough to handle it. Are you someone who creates debt when you can't pay off the debt you already have? Do you keep procrastinating over starting a savings account, or neglecting to balance your checkbook or pay your bills on time? If so, you're sending a message to yourself that you're not a good steward for your money. But if you're struggling financially, the quickest way to turn things around is to take full responsibility for your financial health. You can simply ask yourself, "What's the one thing I need to do to improve my financial health that I keep putting off?" Just use that simple strategy.
You may find that you know what needs to be done but don't know how to go about it. For example, you need to balance your accounts but you have no idea how to do it. Then what do you do? The first step is to ask for help. Or if your bank account is not getting a high enough interest rate but you are clueless about what to do to change it, the first step is to do some research and get some help. Most people who experience fear and anxiety over money think it's just that -- the bills that aren't being paid or their increasing debt -- but most of the anxiety comes from inaction. It comes from not doing something when you know you need to take action. For example, you may have bills that need to be paid, and the number of unpaid bills keeps growing and growing. You become more and more anxious, and as you become more anxious, you also become more paralyzed by your fear. But if you just do something about it -- even if you can only pay some of the bills -- you'll usually feel a lessening of your anxiety. You'll feel a sense of relief for having taken action. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to money.
How does the "adrenaline habit" impede us?
Because we live in a society that's fed by technology, we've become overly reliant on information. While information is important -- you need it to make informed decisions -- what really matters is wisdom; the wisdom you can get when you slow down enough to check inside yourself. That's where you'll get some of your best advice and your most creative ideas.
As long as you stay connected to thinking -- living in your head and intellectualizing everything and staying busy -- you'll keep using adrenaline to fuel yourself. Eventually, you'll burn out. It can cause physical and emotional problems. It will be difficult to focus and difficult to relax or complete projects or sleep at night. Adrenal burnout is at epidemic proportions in this country and it is often misdiagnosed.
When you're running on adrenaline but you're still unable to get enough accomplished, you'll turn to unhealthy fuel, like sugar and caffeine. Sugar will give you a temporary jolt and it will calm a body that’s been running on adrenaline and can't slow down. You may turn to junk food and carbohydrates because those things will allow your system to calm down, but they're only short fixes. What you need to do is start replacing unhealthy fuel with healthier fuel.
What are some alternatives to using adrenaline for energy?
Slow down and give yourself more time. Schedule breaks between appointments and all that social networking, and learn to sit with boredom, even if it's uncomfortable. Of course, even though that's all well and good, if your adrenal system is overused and is in serious trouble, you can take all the time in the world and you may still have a difficult time slowing down and relaxing. It might be that you need to have your adrenal system tested to find out how it functions during the day. The first healthy type of fuel might be some type of supplementation, such as a good multivitamin.
After you've had your adrenal system tested, you can then work on replacing your frenetic energy with peace. Some people do this with simple daily tasks, such as talking, writing and using the computer more slowly. Instead of checking your voice mail or e-mail several times a day, check it twice -- once at 10 in the morning and once at 4 the afternoon. Even if your inner voice tells you that in your job you have to check mail every five minutes, don’t believe that. You may need to check more frequently than twice a day but if you're checking every five minutes you are not being as productive as you could be.
How does it enrich our lives to build a soulful community or honor our spiritual well-being?
When we come to the end of our lives, what we're going to care most about are the people with whom we spent our lives. There's a good chance your boss isn't going to show up at your desk and say, "Thank you so much for the vacations you gave up to get your work done." Your customers aren't going to tell you, "Thank you for those weekends you gave up with your kids to get our product launched." What's going to matter at the end of your life is who you love and who loves you. The only people you have to answer to are your loved ones and yourself -- so make sure you have the right answers.
Building a soulful community adds richness and meaning to your life. Feeling a sense of connection with people you love is what matters most. Don't worry about getting together with a large number of acquaintances for superficial chitchat. You may have to pare back your social calendar and invest more deeply in five or six relationships over the course of a year so that you can really spend time with people, instead of trying to always catch up with a lot of people.
As for your spiritual well-being, remember that most people long to live an authentic life; a life that reflects their deepest desires and their most treasured priorities. And the way to live an authentic life is to be connected to who you are, and to that very wise part of yourself, which I call the "wise self." I think of the wise self as the voice of the soul -- the deepest, most vulnerable part of you that will direct your life in very powerful ways if you allow yourself to be quiet long enough to listen. You have to go inside and pay attention to what's going on.
If you had only one important message, what would it be?
There are two things to remember: First, the only way your life is going to change is if you do something about it. To ensure that you'll do something to make changes, get yourself a partner. You need someone who will support you and improve the quality of your life, and someone you can support in return. It can be a friend, relative or spouse – anyone who shares your vision.
Second, take action. An improved quality of life is only one action step away. If you clean out a closet, you're going to feel better. If you change the oil in your car, you're going to feel better. If you balance your checkbook, you're going to feel better. And that feeling will provide you with momentum and fuel to keep going.
Read part 1 of this book review.
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